Love or Money?
Special Gratitude
Before we proceed with this article, we would like to thank those who participated in our poll. Even if we cannot mention your names in respect of your privacy, we would like you to know that we cannot make this article without you guys and that we truly appreciate your opinions.
Introduction
Love or Money? This is the common question that you will encounter in life, actually, I encountered this question a few days ago. I even asked my girlfriend who is also my business partner and her answer in my poll is Money!
If your partner is asked to choose Love or Money and chose Money, Is this offending for the partner? Well, if you try to assess the situation first, in every choice that we make there is always a motivation why we came up with a certain answer similar to this, right?
We ended up with this question because there was a video circling in the TikTok platform about a reality show called “Paradise Hotel“. The mechanic of the game is that there are a couple of single contestants who will compete with each other contestants.
So they will be teaming and pairing up until the end. Which eventually will lead the contestants to be a couple since they are spending time with each other in the process and building a loving bond together.
However, there is a twist in the ending that will test their partners one last time called the “Loyalty Challenge“. And that is to choose between “Love or Money?“. Both contestants will be taking a golden ball in their hands and walking on a line of dollar amounts, ranging from $5,000 up to $250,000.
The idea was that they were to smash the ball on the amount that they wanted to get or they could meet in the middle and split the quarter-million dollars together. But in the ending, the man smashed his ball securing the $200,000 leaving his partner empty-handed.
@teen.w0lf4 ##devinelapersonne ##paradisehotel ##foryou ##money ##paradisehotel2016 ##henri_bst ##lovestory
♬ son original – justme
This gesture is an example of choosing money over love as it was stated as the idea of the test on how strong the connection between the couple is.
In this article, Let’s find out if is it worth it to choose money over love? We will be listing the Love or Money: 7 most valuable insights you should consider before you choose either. We will try to elaborate on the possible reasons why people choose money over love and vice-versa. That being said, let’s get right on to it.
Love or Money: The Pros & Cons
Pros of choosing Money
- You can freely buy anything you want.
- You can invest it and possibly can make it grow more.
- You can afford to have security such as investments, insurance, and education for you and your family’s future.
- Social status, definitely your social status will improve since you are rich. Hence your circle of friends will improve as well.
- You can provide food on the table, let’s face it, Love cannot buy you food, water, or even shelter.
- Confidence in having money will boost a person’s self-esteem.
Cons of choosing Money
- You will be targeted by all kinds of people, and even the bad ones most especially, so beware of the people around you when you have plenty of money because some of them are probably using you.
- There are a lot of things that money can’t buy. Such as happiness, loyalty, and most of all Love.
- Too much love for money may result in you having so much Ego which will change your personality. Some became braggarts because they have money.
- It is addictive, hence you are prone to misuse of money. Because having money produces dopamine which is the same effect as using cocaine that is why it is addictive.
- There are plenty of problems that even you have the money still cannot be solved, and sometimes having so much money can also bring you so many problems. Look at those people who became “one-day millionaires” they received plenty of money that was wasted resulting in more problems than they usually have.
Pros of choosing Love
- You are surrounded by genuine personalities of people. It’s quality over quantity.
- Feeling in love produces different types of Happy Hormones, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and increased serotonin levels. Which is unlike money that only produces Dopamine.
- The feeling of contentment, feeling in love urges the person to be contented as long as you are happy. Because love is a practice of contentment.
- You perceive much broader insights towards life because love is complicated it teaches you to widen and deepen your understanding towards other people resulting in you having a much deeper connection to this world that we are living in.
- You are driven by intangible stuff similar to faith, hence it is not like a fuel that can be drained easily. Unlike money, once it is drained it will make you feel that everything is lost.
- Love is part of values, therefore it is a very important aspect of a person’s life. Because it brings you development and growth. It deepens the purpose of life.
- It is unmeasurable since love is part of values. No one can judge a person depending on it.
Cons of choosing love
- Love is uncertain since it is intangible. There is no guarantee that it will last. However, if you manage to stay true and take care of it, it may result in long-lasting love.
- True romantic love takes time to find, parental love is all about sacrifice, unconditional love is complicated. Different types of love are a bit confusing. Unlike money, which is linear. Money is taken care of by spending it right, investing it to help it grow, save some of it to avoid future shortcomings.
- Love will never be a resource of exchange since it is intangible. Indeed, you cannot buy food, shelter, clothing with just love. Yes, you can invest in it, but unlike money, love can never be spent to buy you things that you need in life.
- Love is a verb, it is a gesture or action, an emotional feeling which makes you feel good. But once it is gone it can lead to pain and suffering. Most people who experienced heart-breaks went into depression and anxiety. And some of them got traumatized and refused to fall in love anymore.
7 most valuable insights you should consider before you choose “Love or Money?”
Love or Money Insight #1
People should respect the value of money but should prioritize the love for family, love for passion, love for your career & self-love.
Because love should be your driving force and purpose to earn money not the other way around, love is eternal and can push you to do extraordinary things, and money will just push you to desperation which will make you live a life without purpose and happiness.
In a video by The Doctors on American Television in 2017, they discussed a survey in America that most Americans chose a Million Dollars over Love. According to the research, that those who are single, 55% chose the million dollars over love. And when they asked those who got separated or divorced it went higher to 71%.
So based on those numbers, that is probably the reason why most people choose money over love because of the following.
Probable reasons why most people choose money over love
- They haven’t experienced it yet, hence they don’t know how important love is to their lives. But they know what money can do and how it will change their lives, that is why they chose money over love.
- They experienced it, unfortunately, they experienced the worst side of it. Resulting in them prioritizing money over love instead, since they are thinking that by choosing money they will feel good and will not experience the pain that they felt from love.
- Most people think that Love is linear, it is defined by the romantic relationship of two persons. But they forgot that there are other types of love such as parental love, love for family, self-love, etc.
- Most people don’t understand that there are a lot of things and experiences that are priceless and cannot be equaled by amounts of money.
Love or Money Insight #2
Money can buy you everything you want, it will put food on your table, but never forget to spend it right and invest in something that will make you happy.
In a TEDTalk of Michael Newton who is a professor at Harvard Business School. He stated that he doesn’t believe in the saying…
Rather he further explained and elaborate the correct understanding that people should have in the saying. It should be…
This is the biggest problem that a lot of people don’t know about money, take an example for those people who won the lottery. Yes, they receive a huge amount of money.
But most of them spent it through gambling, they did not invest it to make it grow more, they spent it wrong which lead them back again on being poor.
And the worse about it is that most of them were lead into debt. And most of them had experienced bad social relationships because the people around them are coming to them for money which leads them to become antisocial.
According to Michael Newton, they’ve conducted a social experiment in Canada and Uganda, and since both countries have a huge difference when it comes to wealth. The subject’s priorities are different.
The main objective of this study is to see what the subjects will do with the money given to them. The researchers wanted to see the difference if you were to spend the money for yourself or for other people to measure how happy they will be after spending the money.
The Social Experiment of spending for yourself vs spending for other people, which one will make them happier? (Canadian Undergraduates Version)
The participants are undergraduate students who are given 2 different envelopes and have a note inside of them.
Mechanics A
- By 5 pm today spend this money for yourself, such as bills, expense, gift for self. Amount: $ 5 (Personal Use Approach)
- By 5 pm today spend this money for somebody else, such as charitable donations, gifts for others. Amount: $ 20 (Pro-Social Approach)
Results A:
Personal Approach Results
Most women participants spent their money to buy things like make-ups, jewelry. Some of them bought coffee for themselves which they normally would.
Pro-Social Approach Results
Most participants bought gifts, one participant mentioned she bought a stuffed toy for her niece. And some gave money to homeless people. Other bought coffee for somebody else, like partners, friends, etc.
Overall Results
After this experiment according to the participants, those who spent their money on other people became happier while on the other hand, those who spent their money on themselves nothing happened since it is their normal way.
Another thing that the researchers found out is that it is not about the money you spend, what matters to the participants is that they spent the money for somebody else which makes them happier.
The Social Experiment of spending for yourself vs spending for other people, which one will make them happier? (Uganda Version)
This time they wanted to find out if there will be significant differences because there will be cultural differences, will it matter or not when it comes to spending money for yourself or other people.
Mechanics B
Same
Results B:
Personal Approach Results
Similar results from Canadian participants.
Pro-Social Approach Results
There is a slight difference, for example, a woman from Canada bought a scarf for her mom. While on the other hand, a woman from Uganda gave the money to a long-time friend who has a child with malaria, for medicine and transportation.
Overall Results
Both have similar results. However, the participants have different motivations regarding spending money for somebody else.
The researchers also found out that the gravity of the spending motivation is also tantamount to the importance that you spend money for somebody else.
As you can see with the results of these social experiments prove that you do not need to buy extravagant materials to make you happy.
You can do small things such as sharing your wealth with those who are in need, or giving gifts to other people aside from yourself can result in you being happy as well.
Love or Money Insight #3
If money can motivate you to work hard, then love can push you to do extraordinary things.
Most people think that love is not considered to be a motivator compared to money. However, they don’t realize that there are a lot of things around them which proves that love pushes a person to do the extraordinary. Let’s list down some examples of it.
Examples of Extraordinary Love
1. Maternal Bond
The relationship between a mother and child, during the time I was taking up Bachelor of Science in Nursing before I shifted to Business Major.
During our lessons on pregnancy up to the delivery of the baby, it was mentioned in our practical studies.
That every time we deliver the baby we have to place the newborn baby on top of the womb of the mother to establish the “maternal bond”.
This bond is extraordinary that is why even if the newborn could not see yet, since the vision of babies develops mostly around 5 months after being born.
They manage to sense the presence of their mother, they will feel secured and they know that they are about to breastfeed.
Similar to some animals, that is why the mother animals get aggravated every time something approaches their offspring.
Ever wonder why mothers have the most accurate feeling when their child is in danger? Some studies claimed it is because of the strong maternal bond.
2. Parental Love
The most example of unconditional love, parental love has no limits. This is proven by those who were rebellious children like me.
In my case, I experienced this parental love from my mother and my grandmother, even if I have explosive behavior which sometimes I say hurtful words they didn’t give up on me.
That is the huge factor that made me realize and made me correct my way of living and started to take my life seriously.
Because of their unconditional love. I was motivated to finish my degree. I also managed to receive the best thesis award alongside my teammates during our graduation.
Somehow it was not late for me to show my achievements to my grandmother before she passed and I know that I made her proud.
3. Sacrificial Love
This type of unconditional love can come from parents, spouses, partners, or even friends. This is where a person gives love unselfishly and has no regard for yourself.
Another example of this from the love of Jesus Christ for humanity, sacrificing his self for our sins to be forgiven by God.
Love or Money Insight #4
If you prioritize money over spending time with family, it will result in problems that money can’t solve. Both are important aspects of life so prioritize both without disregarding the other.
Most of us thought that prioritizing money over love will avoid us from getting hurt. But in reality, it is the same feeling if you lose money. You will still get hurt.
For example, those people who are married that prioritizes money over their family. Yes, they are a good provider for the family.
However, are they a loving mothers/fathers as well? Are they always present during their child’s performance in schools? or are they present during their child’s graduation?
I’ve seen some parents that are very good providers for their family, but there is no connection between them and their children. And there are some cases that it becomes the main reason why their children became rebellious and resent them.
I find it ironic because they did their best to earn money to provide for their children. But instead, their children ended up hating them because they didn’t feel any presence from their parents.
Don’t misunderstand, I am not against those methods by parents. However, they should always consider that time is precious that money cannot buy.
Once an important day passed, even if you have billions you cannot reset the time, yes you pay to repeat the event but the extraordinary feeling will never be there.
Therefore, always value time, and spend it with your family every once in a while and that is more than enough. Like bond with your children at least 1-2 hours a day or even during weekends, or a simple gesture by helping them with their homework or projects will always make a difference.
Love or Money Insight #5
Love exists first before money was made.
These are the common sayings about love and money that we usually know and hear.
However, which of them is correct? In my honest opinion, both are true. And then I came across this video on YouTube which made me realize something.
In this video, they surveyed people, asking them which will they choose? Love or Money? And the answers are logical which will make you think and consider different opinions about love and money, and why they prioritize either of the two.
We cannot deny the fact that money is an essential resource in our life, but why do some people prefer love over money? Are they irrational beings?
I guess not, I think that those people who prefer love over money think that there are a lot of things that money can’t give you.
Aside from that, they believed that money can be consumed which love isn’t since it is intangible stuff. Therefore, if money is lost, love can still exist in our lives.
In this same video, they interviewed a couple. And it is fascinating when the woman was asked if she would stay with her boyfriend even if his boyfriend lost his job. And she answered yes, then the boyfriend said this awesome response…
Another amazing response in this video is from a man who was asked which of the two he prioritizes, the man chose “love“.
He was followed up by another question that if he thinks he can get through his life without money in the bank, still, the man’s answer is yes.
Why is that? Because there are people that possess nothing but love. And somehow, they can manage to survive and be happy more than those people who have money.
And the most amazing answer that I heard from the video, the man responds if he will choose love or money?
Asked about romantic love vs money, man chose money.
Asked about love for family or friendship, here is the man’s answer.
Asked about respecting love more or money more.
I agree with his opinions about money and love, both are very important. However, love motivates everything else. Which we must consider this fact.
@lanazi00 Love or money? 🥺 #fup #foryou #fyp #foryour
♬ original sound – Lanazi
Love or Money Insight #6
Regardless if you choose either love or money, you should prioritize your happiness as the result.
Love and Money are both sources to make one person happy. However, at this time. Most people forget to prioritize their health, their family, themselves, and most of all, their happiness.
Always remember, all of your efforts to earn money, or feeling in love is quite useless if it doesn’t give you happiness.
We have limited time in this world so do not waste by living a life without even prioritizing your own happiness.
I’ve seen people who worked hard in their lives, but in the end, they didn’t experience happiness because they prioritize other things such as focusing to earn money, or just focusing to provide for their family without even investing for their own happiness.
Don’t misunderstand, there is nothing wrong with that, what I’m pointing at is that sometimes, due to our desire to be the best provider, the best father/mother, to be the best versions of ourselves, we tend to sacrifice the most important thing in a person’s life and that is to live a happy life.
Always remember, never sacrifice your happiness for money, or for love, or for anything else. Trust me, it will never be worth it.
Love or Money Insight #7
Love is shared, so is money and your success
In 2010, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates started the Giving Pledge which is a concept of an open invitation to all billionaires or even for those who are open-heartedly wanted to share their fortunes to philanthropy.
What is Philanthropy?
- an act or gift done or made for humanitarian purposes, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/philanthropy
Because of this initiative of wealthy people to share their fortune to charity and donation, it helped the third world countries and it has a great contribution to fund the studies to make vaccines and fight the COVID-19 pandemic.
In 2015, Bill Gates made a talk in TEDtalks about the upcoming epidemic, he stated that “the world is not ready“. He also mentioned this prediction in Netflix’s Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates.
Why is this relevant? If it wasn’t for the funding of these wealthy people, most likely the scientists couldn’t have rolled out the studies.
And the production of the vaccines, the development of the vaccines, and worldwide help to other countries during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Now the question is, is philanthropy or any acts of charity require monetary value? Well, it is not, because it is an act of generosity to share whatever you have to help other people. Even the smallest amount of money is still considered as a donation.
But what if you do not have the money to share? A man once told me, “You cannot give what you do not have“.
This is true, for example, someone is asking to borrow $10 from you, but you only have $5 in your pocket. Would you give it to that person?
Well, it depends on your financial capacity if you cannot afford to share it with other people because you do not have enough I think it is reasonable not to share it.
However, if you have plenty, that is a different story. Because you have more than enough to share your fortune with those who are really in need.
Remember that money is something that you cannot bring in the other life. Why not share it with those who are in need rather than just spending on your luxury?
Many people are unfortunate due to circumstances, we cannot blame them due to their situation.
Maybe some of them made mistakes due to overspending their riches on something that is not valuable to their future.
But I don’t think that it should be a reason not to give them a little financial help to have another chance to start brand new.
However, take into consideration that there are still some people who don’t want to help themselves. I remember this saying that my mom used to tell me. And I wanted to share it with you.
Conclusions
And that concludes our Love or Money: 10 most valuable insights you should consider before you choose. Before we end this article, we wanted you to understand that both Love and Money are part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
The Psychology of Love or Money
The money lands on Basic Needs to buy our daily needs such as food, water. On the other hand, Love lands on Psychological Needs & Self-Fulfillment Needs.
Why? Because, Love for passion, Love for career, Self-Love are parts of Self-Fulfillment Needs.
Even in science, it proves that we should prioritize Love more compare to money. Both are important aspects of our lives, it only depends on which you prioritize more.
Therefore, you can choose either Love or Money depending on your priority. However, we cannot disregard the other one, because both are important and have significance in our daily lives.
Most people hold and choose love because that is the most precious thing that they can possess, which motivates them to strive and work for their loved ones.
And some people hold and choose money because they already possess money and they do not want to lose it.
They value the power of money because they understand the importance of it and how it helps them provide for their loved ones.
Both are powerful sources in our lives, however, we must always remember and put them into consideration.
We can choose to prioritize either as long as it will make us happy. Because that is the most important thing above anything else that matters.
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